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The pen, the sword…I say the mind! It is that deep and mysterious place that reminds one of the black hole we all hear of in space. I wonder what colours our minds would be if we could give it such descriptions? Would it be white? black? red? I guess we would never know…

I sit down and wonder how we human beings compartmentalise our thoughts..How could we see into one’s mind to know the thoughts they bear towards us? This very mystery is the peace that I seek. My journey through life has taught me that we are severely limited in our ability to influence how people think about us. Trust, empathy, togetherness, are becoming abstract phenomenons that I can’t seem to get a grip on in these strange times!

Our truth as humans, what we strive for others to see in us has been painted with envy, jealousy and spite! I look in the mirror and I see a woman who has become afraid of her own shadow, she walks on egg shells and has adorned a cloak of cynicism…

I sometimes wish when I was born, I was given a manual with instructions on how to weather the eccentricities of life! How great that would be! However, the reality of life comes like a cold winter morning, taunting me, egging me on to tip over edge. Oh how easy it would be to succumb to that hollow void, that emptiness which does not demand any emotions and affections from me, or I could create my own little make-believe world where everything is pretty, hugs and kisses are currencies and everyone got along! O yes, I would if I could…

Einstein conquered the mystery of gravity, young David in the bible defeated the giant Goliath, it is impossible for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle…these are all truths! So what then is mine? What do people see in me and still not understand? How can I make you, yes you! to believe in me? to offer me your trust? to be safe in your embrace? These are the answers I seek to grant me peace!

Yes, we were all born different, we all make different choices, we all get the freewill to do as we please, to whoever, wherever and whenever! But at what cost do we leverage these choices? decisions! decisions! decisions! I have come to learn that our minds is the very bane of our existence. It feeds on love, hate, malice, anger, happiness, desperation and a whole lot more. I could pontificate on theories, concepts, logic or experience to find solace in this dilemma for the rest of my life, and I would never know…Alas, my truth is my truth! you, yes you! can choose to accept it or ignore it, celebrate it or debase it, encourage it or destroy it…it is your perogative, not mine!

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